Call of the Void

  Do you guys remember the story I mentioned in the last post? Well, thought I'd post it here. I didn't feel like editing it, so enjoy a very rough version of my work (not that my work is ever fine or even moderately polished, but still). 

Call of the Void

  ‘L’appel du vide’. That’s what my cousin Bahar called it. I mean, she’s the one who’s been taking French classes, not me. It means ‘call of the void’, which she further explained was that feeling, the urge you get to jump off high places. Basically, the thrill you get when you’re doing something recklessly. But you don’t actually do that, do you?

  I massaged my forehead. Just what did I get myself into? It was supposed to be fun. A nice, simple fair, where me and my cousins could hang out and pretend life was okay. Not standing on the ledge of a vent ramp, gripping my old skateboard for dear life. I couldn’t do this. I mean, I could. Technically, I guess. I’ve done tricks like this before. But those were just for fun. I did it for the thrill. Call of void and everything.

  See, my problem wasn’t the ramp at all. Heck, the ramp was probably the least of my problems. It was the people. The onlookers. Their squinting eyes made me want to throw up. They looked tiny from up here, but I could tell they were looking at me. Why were they staring at me?

  Worst of all were the kids from school. What were they all doing here? Practically everyone had shown up, as if people were being paid and offered lifetime supplies of pizzas to attend. I was too high up to recognize anyone, but I could sense them here. And, well, my imagination was more than adequate.

  By now, I was shaking. Just what was I doing here? I tried searching for my cousins so I could glare at them. Afterall, they were the ones who thought it would be a fantastic, eureka-worthy idea that would bring world peace, and decided to just sign me up for the show. And somehow, I was stupid enough to have them talk me into it. Now here I am, the center of attention. Just fantastic.

  This was bad. Really, really bad. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t just do some skateboard tricks and call it a day in front of this many people. Definitely not in front of people from school.

  But I couldn’t get out, either. Glancing down again, I noticed a few people were holding up something. Something that looked an awful lot like a phone- were they actually filming? I was horrified. Seriously, what is wrong with them? However awful I thought it was, it was worse. Nope, I was out.

  As I was about to walk down, I heard someone yelling my name. There was a wave of pastel pink. I sighed. Was Bahar and the crew really waving around their flags of scarves.

“You can do this!” yelled out someone. Sophia, I think.

  This was all so- messed up. Creating a scene was the last thing I needed. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cousins. But I was crazy jealous of how brave they were. How they could walk through a crowd of people jeering at them, with their heads held high. I don’t know, I guess some people are just born like that.

  Why wasn’t I born like that? It would’ve made my life a ton easier. Why did I have to be a disappointment to my amazing friends? I sighed. Looking at them for too long hurt. It made me remember that I wouldn’t ever be as cool as them. That I’d never stop thinking about what other people thought.

  Maybe it was them radiating their overwhelming optimism, or whatever little pride I had, but I turned around. I took a deep breath. I was going to do this.

  I was going to do this for my cousins, who saw the best in me when no one else did.

  I was going it to do this for the primary school me, who couldn’t finish a class without crying, who had her paintings ruined and memories of her bullies as nightmares.

  I was going it to do for the middle school me, who had learned to hold her tears, and spill them only when there was no one around, in the darkest hours when everyone was asleep.

  I was doing it for myself. Maybe I did care about what everyone else thought, but right at the moment, I didn’t. I was going to do what makes me happy.

  Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the ledge. This was it. I glanced down at my cousins, and smiled. It was less fake than I thought it would be. I closed my eyes. This was it. When I opened them, I didn’t wait for myself to magically be brave. Instead, I answered the call of the void.

The End

  So that's it. What do you guys think? Let me know if you have any feedback. Hopefully I'll be seeing you guys next time :)

Note: Not sponsored and just my opinions. If I said something offensive, please let me know.